textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
one might say we're banned from that church
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
