haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
