Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
