1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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