Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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