this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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