its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
