quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
