sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
