The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
