I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
