Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
