Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
