I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
