Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
