it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize