you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
