last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
