U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my shit smells like andre
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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