He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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