I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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