I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
