you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
