Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
