i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
