This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
