Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize