so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
