He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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