Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
