Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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