Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
