idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
