At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
