I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We talked him into tasing himself.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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