11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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