After last night, I could never be a politician.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
