clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
