FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
