But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Life is so much better after having sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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