Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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