I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
