dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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