I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
