that's an acceptable place to lick
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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