So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We had sex on a dog bed..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
