so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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