where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
