Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
