I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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