I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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