Dual....:-)
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
