I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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