STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she looked like the before picture.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
