Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
