I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
