I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm passing your future prison.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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