did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
