My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
