my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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