I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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