mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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