Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
