I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
