Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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