I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize