So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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