i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
