you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Screwed.edu
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
