we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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