If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You are a genius and a whore.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
