I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize