my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
