i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
