i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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